Laura Story

My husband heard this song on the radio called Blessings by Laura Story, one day while driving, and decided he really liked it. At that time we going through the NICU/PICU situation with the twins, we had the carbon monoxide leak in our heater, our air conditioner was broken and our basement flooded. He thought, "Wow this song really applies to our lives right now!" He talked to me about singing it for church sometime and we thought that was a really good idea. One small example of a mercy in disguise like Laura sings about in this song is the fact that while we were running our heater with the huge cracks in it, the twins were both in the PICU recovering from RSV. We realized that their being at the hospital was probably a good thing since our room (where the boys were sleeping) was the room above our furnace. Anyway we grew to really like this song, then we lost Linc and decided we would probably never sing it for church after all, but we did use it for his slide show and had it sung at his funeral, by a very dear friend. Well Laura Story had a concert this past weekend that my husband and I really wanted to go to, but the tickets sold out so quickly that we missed our opportunity, that is until my cousin texted me the day of the concert to ask if I wanted to go for free because she had a friend with an extra ticket (and this friend wouldn't even let me pay her for my ticket). Exciting!!!


So I got to get my picture taken with Laura. Right after this I said out loud, "Oh no! Were my glasses over my eyes? Can you see them very well in the picture? Take another one real quick."



Obedient friend of mine took another one and boy am I glad! Do I not look cross eyed in the first picture? I would have been so disappointed if that was the only picture I got. I decided that my dorky comment in front of Laura, Matt Maher, and Andy Cherry (he's up and coming) was totally worth it to have a better picture. Yes, this one is much better! Btw, for those of you who know my sister - does Laura resemble her just a little bit to you guys too? Just a little? I just have to say that if you took a dork-o-meter out when me and my sister get to meet stars/singers that we really like we pretty much break records at the skillful art of freaking the famous person out and making ourselves look really cool. Still makes our day, and we walk away happy:o)

I'm not super into autographs but I had Laura sign my ticket, got my picture with her, and talked to her for quite awhile. Then I moved down the line to Matt and Andy and said, "Oh I might as well have you guys..." then realizing what I just said changed my wording, "Can you sign my ticket too? Andy Cherry said, "Yeah, might as well." How rude of me! I tried to cover my "dis"interest in telling him that I had never heard of him before, but he did have nice music:/ Oh boy...

After the concert I went to pick up my kids and tried to pay our babysitter. She was like, "No, don't pay me! I won't cash your check..." I said, well I'm going to write it out and if you happen to change your mind we will have already planned for it to come out of our account. So I left it on the counter and stayed and chatted for awhile. When the kids and I were about to leave our baby sitter held up this check and laughed. I thought, "What in the world?" Yeah, *ahem* Brains and Curly decided to use it as a doodling project!:o) Bwhahaha, well... I guess it wasn't meant to be:o)



Random stuff here, but Brains just cracks me up with her art work sometimes...

Brains decorated a card for a sweet friend and asked me label a couple of things for her. Do you see the big purple cat holding hands with the people? That is Hello Kitty. Then the orange cat outlined in white is Invisible Kitty, hehe:o) Then she drew a REALLY Invisible Kitty on the right hand side next to the three stick people. Can you see it? It's kind of hard to see - I guess it's supposed to be hard to see since it is after all "invisible". Where does she come up with this stuff? So silly:o)



These are the directions to the English assignment that Brains was working on.



Do you see the door on the bottom row next to the number 10? I asked Brains, "Why do you have a g and an r under the door?" Matter of factly she says, "drawer..." so she was giving it a long g sound and pronounced it like a dresser drawer. I laughed and said, "that is a Door! With a D." She looked so surprised and said in an embarrassed voice but with laughter, "I thought it was drawer? I've been saying it wrong all this time?" Silly girl:o) Pretty crazy that you can just not hear a mispronunciation like that and therefore it never gets corrected. So she learned something new that day.
Then on the next page of that picture, 3 rows down, do you see the lock? Once again, I'm like, "Why do you have a c and a u on this one?" Brains says, "camera..." Wow, that girl is thinking outside the box! How hilarious!



I know I dedicated a whole post to our homeschool material and how they choose the strangest pictures/words for English. Is this not ridiculous? How many kids even know what jade is? I had to look back in the book to figure this one out. I just have to wonder about the curriculum writers (not sure what their technical name would be), "Is this the best they could come up with, do they have any imagination at all or too much imagination? So strange...

Leafy Bum

We raked our yard while the kids played in the leaves. Smiles didn't have any pants on for some reason... Here is what you get with a diaper bum and leaves:o) Looks pretty UNcomfortable I'd say!

I Wish...

As much fun as twins were, I find myself wishing often that Judles and Lincoln had been single birth babies. I wish Brains, Curly, and Smiles had distinct memories of him... I wish all the time that even I had clearer memories of Lincoln instead of wondering which baby I cuddled with at which event; which baby I snuggled with the most in the carry pouch for that last trip to the mall; they both woke up that last night and I fell asleep with both of them in my arms at one point - who did I snuggle with longer? I never would have thought that my memories of the NICU and PICU would be SO precious... Going to the hospital to visit Lincoln! I remember seeing him hooked up to the vapotherm machine and hearing him cough harder than any baby ever should and choke on all his saliva and phlegm that his little body couldn't handle. He looked completely miserable. I asked the nurse on duty if she thought he might prefer to be left alone. She said, "No I don't think so, I think babies always like to be held." I am SO glad she told me that or I would struggle with that to this day wishing I had picked him up. I had so many wonderful snuggle times in that hospital, uninterrupted by our other kids, duties at home, life in general. When I sat in those hospital rooms with Lincoln, he was my focus and he just ate up all the love that he got. At least I know that he was loved and even if I can't remember specifics there was no favoritism. Pretty much whoever cried louder or longer got first dibs on feedings or had the honor of being the baby in the carry pouch instead of the one in the stroller, etc...


I wish that that last morning when we knew he was gone, that instead of passing him off to someone... anyone... who could fix him and make him better that I would have just held him and gave his soft, somewhat warm body one last hug and that I would have kissed his sort of warm cheeks, buried my nose into his soft downy hair one last time... I wish I could have said goodbye that way... Instead of giving him over to strangers and then seeing him in the ER as a different baby. A baby with crusty hair, a tube in his nose, an unfamiliar blanket, and so, so lifeless.


I hate that I can't walk into my kids rooms at night to see them peacefully sleep without racing over to feel them breath, that peaceful look is now marred by death. It's not so welcome anymore. I hate that kissing one of their cool foreheads goodnight doesn't just strike me as, "Oh they are chilly." It stirs emotions, brings back sad memories...


My hubby and I sometimes wonder why we had Lincoln buried so far away from home. I like that he is next to my brother, Micah, his uncle who I'm sure he is well acquainted with by now; it's good we can't obsess over going to the cemetery, right? BUT it's so far away... I have a dear friend, Sarah, who visited Lincolns grave and brought balloons for their visit. She said everything was still as it was when we left that Saturday afternoon, the day we buried him. We aren't even close enough to maintain his grave... I'm glad to say I'm a logical person and that it helps me through some of these struggles. Knowing that all this doesn't matter to him, just to us. Sarah texted the other day to say they were in the area again recently, but that it was to dark to see the cemetery from the road. I told her that it's hard for me to think about my baby being alone and in the dark. Even though we know he's not there we want to be there for him, we want to take care of him. Again, logic takes over and I realize it's just his shell laying in that graveyard. He is alive and well and happy and comfortable and unafraid and taken care of! As Sarah said, "Linc is basking in the glorious light of our Father!" How... HOW, do people go through something like this who don't know Christ? How do they find comfort when they don't have a loving Saviour to run to? When they don't have the promises from the Bible to cling to! We can find happiness in knowing Lincoln is in heaven! We have a baby IN HEAVEN! It is fascinating, encouraging, and delightful to understand that. Would we take him back if given the opportunity? Of course! But since that isn't an option, we are thankful to know Lincoln isn't unhappy with the fact that he had a short life or with the fact that he is in heaven!