Last years Christmas letter was filled with excitement and anticipation as we eagerly awaited the arrival of our twins. Jared optimistically predicted the year ahead as a forecast appearing to be “busy with a great chance for joy.” True… but little did we know that after 3 short months, our great joy would become great sorrow and pain unlike any we had ever experienced!
Early in the morning of March 26th (5 weeks early) a beautiful set of fraternal twin boys were born. A pregnancy seeping with curiosity over what sex these 2 precious little gifts would be, had come to fruition! Judah Garrett was born first with a simple birth and no complications, but brother Lincoln Micah was breached and it was quickly determined that a cesarean would be necessary. Mommy was prepped for one, but all in vain as there was no anesthesiologist to make this possible. After a very intense delivery little Lincoln was born limp and lifeless. He was quickly hooked up to machines and wheeled up to the intensive care unit. He had severe bruising all over his tiny body (his feet looked as if they had been dipped in ink) and lots of swelling, along with lungs that weren’t ready to work on their own. Long story short, Judah joined Linc in the NICU with jaundice, they both came home after about 2 weeks, only to return a couple of weeks later (to the PICU) with life threatening RSV. We nearly lost both of our sweet babies in this rough beginning (no joke), scary times! So, was Jared right when he predicted joy for the coming year? Yes! Lots of joy! Stress too? OH YEAH!
We are so thankful that after such a rough start both boys came home strong and healthy! The prediction about being “busy” became a fun reality for the whole family. Long nights, little sleep, stares and questions from people as we ventured out for trips to the mall and grocery stores… WOW! Crazy times! We loved EVERY minute of it!
Grandpa and Grandma Cline came to visit for a fun-filled summer. They arrived to our home with our air conditioner broken and pulled up carpet throughout our basement due to recent flooding. We weren’t about to let that ruin the good times ahead, but after a short 2 days we all woke up to tragedy and a reality that would change our lives forever. As I am sure you are all aware, we lost our sweet little Lincoln in the early hours of the morning on July 2. Shock, heavy sadness, deep pain, floods of tears all hit like a brick wall that morning. Questions wondering what WE could have done differently…
This year we have learned much of God’s sovereignty, realizing that HE is in control and there is nothing WE could have done to prevent this. We have experienced true peace that only God can give; comfort from God’s Word as it is filled with promises that we can cling to, and many things of God’s goodness! We smile and rejoice to know that we have a baby in Heaven and one day we WILL see our sweet baby again!
Jared is a busy bee! He’s worked mostly 7 day weeks (which is about to change) since starting his new position with Pepsi back in May; he's taken modules through Faith; he’s a Youth Pastor (and we are SO thankful for our patient church during his ridiculous and demanding work schedule); and he maintains a happy home! He's a super dad who always takes time to listen to and play with the kids, he even gives great effort to answer all their (especially April's) crazy questions, and let me tell ya, I am thankful for the great brain he's been blessed with, because this mommy is left clueless as to how to answer most of those questions. Jared is also a very good hubby, the best in my opinion:o) We’ve made a great team this past year, I am blessed to have him by my side!
The kids seem to be growing and changing on a daily basis! Apirl is in 1st grade! She just lost her first tooth; she asks way too many questions; never stops talking; loves to learn; and is a huge help with the small things around the house. She and Chloe really made the twin thing MUCH easier than it would have been otherwise, both girls fed those hungry babies many a times for this busy momma!
Chloe is in her own little world a lot of the time. She has really matured over this past year and is a sweet, sensitive soul. She loves her baby Judah (and loved her baby Lincoln) and can hardly contain herself when told not to touch the sleeping baby. Lots of hugs and kisses from this big sister!
Brody has simmered down in his quick-tempered, dynamite like attitude and is once again a VERY enjoyable little boy. He makes us laugh all the time. I have never met a 2 year old with so many funny faces and such a quirky personality. He’s a busy boy, but always loves a good snuggle. He has definitely changed the dynamics in this home!
Judah is sweet! I haven’t looked up the meaning of his name lately, but I’m pretty sure the definition says something like “melts a mommy’s heart, sweet, and nearly perfect” just kidding, but we love our baby Judah so much! He has been a huge blessing this past year, HUGE!
Lincoln will always be a softspot in our lives… He was a really good baby, very laid back, good natured, happy, sociable, and he loved to be cuddled. I’m pretty sure if we looked up the meaning to his name it would say, “fun, sweet, cute, missed, loved, nearly perfect…” WAIT! Correction. “PERFECT!” He IS perfect, no pain, no suffering, no effects of sin in this broken world can touch our baby! Ahhh, he has it made... We miss him every day, we think about him every day, but in answer to many people’s questions of how we are doing, I’d say we are doing well, and even when we aren’t doing "well" we are because we have a good God, a loving family, a wonderful church family, and terrific friends to help us through these hard times! We are so thankful for each one of you!! Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year!
Love, Jared, Angela, April, Chloe, Brody, Judah, and our forever missed sweetheart Lincoln
Saturday, September 3, 2016
Part 1 - The Twins Arrive!
The birth story of the twins is loooong overdue, so long overdue that details aren't quite as crisp, but I'll give it my best effort anyway. I had a doctors appointment March 18th (measuring in at a hefty 46 weeks) and the doctors wanted me to collect my urine for a 24 hour period to see how much or if I had protein in my urine. So that was my fun chore Sunday into Monday... Monday I had my appointment to get that checked then got a call Tuesday morning that the doctors wanted me to come back in. That appointment led to a trip to the hospital for good (well until the babies arrived). So my next 5 days (that Tuesday till Saturday when I had the babies) was spent on bedrest. Long and boring, but where I needed to be. They do have a fun program where someone comes around and teaches bedrest moms how to crochet, so I made a hat for both of the babies, that was fun!
My hubby had gone out of state for job training the same morning I was sent to the hospital (great timing eh?), I was so worried I would have the babies without him there. Thankfully he was able to come home early and was indeed there for our big event and I am so glad because he was my lifeline in that delivery room. He kept me so calm through all the trauma. Anyway, while on bedrest I had several nurses come in and ask if I had had my Strep B test yet, to which I kept responding, "Um, no I don't think so..." Well Saturday after the bottom number to my blood pressure had reached 100 for the second time they decided it was time to induce. I was told that with twins they would do ultrasounds all the way up to and even in the delivery room and that you deliver in the operating room so that if they need to do an emergency c-section you could be all prepped and ready for it super fast like. Well the doctor broke my water and then realized I wasn't tested for Strep B yet (they had 5 days to do that!) so they got me medication flowing through my IV to protect against that "just in case" and when my favorite doctor came in and realized they had already broken my water he seemed frustrated and wanted me to get the epidural as soon as possible (in case my labor progressed quickly since I was already at a 4). I became anxious about the epidural since I knew I didn't want to have twins without it. Oh and I had to have magnesium in my I.V. due to my blood pressure too - that was, well pretty uncomfortable. They told me it would burn some and wow, I was shocked at how much "burn" there was, OWE! Labor was as fun as it always is *sarcasm* and time came to head to the delivery/operating room, note - I hadn't had a single ultrasound the five days leading up to this point and still no sign of one while heading to delivery, also my epidural had a button you could push whenever you wanted to for the desired effect, the more you push it stronger it is (well to a certain point of course). I thought, "Oh I'd like to feel as much as possible, so I'm not going to push the button." I had so much feeling in my legs that I was able to lift them myself and crawl onto the operating table. Baby A came out so quickly and so easily that I became VERY optimistic about the whole situation. That is until Doctor N. (she wanted my regular OB doctor, Doctor H., to be at the delivery just in case we needed him because he was more experienced) turned to Doctor H. and thought Baby B. was likely breached (which with a simple ultrasound would have been obvious, but to my knowledge there wasn't a single ultrasound technician or machine in the room???). Doctor H. quickly took over and I was told not to push anymore. If your reading this and don't want too much information for your pure or inexperienced mind stop reading this now:o) Doctor H. reached inside me to grab for Baby B.'s feet so he could pull him out feet first, but those little feet were slippery and HARD to get. Jared said he had his entire forearm (up to his elbow) inside of me as he grabbed for the baby's feet and slipped off his hold. Over and over again he would reach in, grab the feet, and slide off, reach in, grab feet, slip off, reach in grab feet, slip off. Let me tell you people, I was really wishing that I had pushed that button for my epidural at this point because it was so painful I could hardly stand it. The suctioning sound from him slipping each time is so distinct in my memory, such an awful sound mixed with so much pain. An emergency c-section became necessary and I was quickly prepped for one, I remember thinking, "well this is it, a cesarean after all", but... where was the anesthesiologist??? Doctor H. turned to the nurses (like 15 of them) and asked where the anesthesiologist was and nobody knew. Everyone in the room became uncomfortable, quiet, and antsy as Doctor H. assumed the task at hand. I am SO thankful my hubby was able to make it back for this delivery! He kept my focus away from all the unfortunate things going on and just had me looking in his eyes, forehead against mine, praying for me the baby, and the whole situation. He stayed calm, but I could see concern all over his face. Three nurses vigorously pushed on my stomach for what seemed like hours but was really a ten minute period. SO painful! About 2 minutes before Baby B. was born (more like pulled out) the anesthesiologist arrived and Doctor H. very frustrated and with a commanding voice, said, "GET HER SOMETHING TO MAKE HER COMFORTABLE!" A little late at that point! The baby was not only breached, but he had his arm wrapped across his chest and around his neck (I was told that was THE WORST position a baby could be in). So once the baby's feet were out it was a whole new battle getting the rest of the baby out. My hubby said the doctor would rotate the baby and pull, rotate, pull, over and over again causing all the poop inside the baby to be squished out of his little body. My husband said he wouldn't even want to watch an animal give birth that way. Finally Baby B. was born, I looked down at him and saw a pale, limp body, no tears, nothing. Both my hubby and I thought he was dead. I knew panicking wouldn't help anything so we just prayed while they wheeled our little baby off to the NICU. Anyone who's had a baby knows that usually the placenta is the easy part to deliver, but it probably took another 10 minutes of more painful reaching and grabbing before that finally came out too. My body had experienced SUCH trauma that I shook, so badly in fact that I couldn't even hold Baby A. I shook uncontrollably for probably the next 8 hours or so:o( Not fun! I didn't get to meet my NICU baby till way later that evening, they wheeled me up in my bed:o)
Baby B had underdeveloped lungs and major bruising! Black feet and bruising that continued up his legs to his bottom. His face and forehead were bruised and swollen too:o( He just laid in his bed moaning from pain and stress. Lights, voices, touch, it just caused him more stress. It was so sad to see a 5lb 13oz baby whimper in pain:o( It melted my heart and made me so sad for him.
Judles (Baby A) got to come home, smaller than his little brother, but a breeze of a delivery AND developed lungs. He was kind of yellow so we were supposed to take him back to the doctors after a couple of days, so we did and well... he was jaundice and also needed admitted because his numbers were too low. So, much to my dismay we took him in too so they put him under the Billi Rubin lights and also started treating him for an infection (which was all hogwash to me, seriously). Lincoln showed great progress during his stay, but they had major expectations for his eating. Having experience of raising and feeding 3 babies prior to this I KNEW he was eating fine and getting a sufficient amount. We inquired about taking the feeding tube out of his nose and taking him home since that was the only thing keeping him there and the doctors acted as if we were first time parents who had no idea what we were talking about. They gave us an ultimatum that they would take the feeding tube out of his nose and if he ate 30 ml or more for each feeding (every 2-3 hours) during a 24 hour time period we could take him home. If he didn't meet these standards he would stay. Fine with us since if he wasn't eating well (which I had no doubts he was) we wanted him to get the proper help. I decided I would stay and monitor the situation and decided I would nurse him since he always seemed to eat more that way. Every feeding they put him on the scale to weigh him before and after he ate. He did AMAZING! There was one feeding where he ate through a let down (and nursing mothers KNOW what a let down is and if your baby is keeping up) and I missed his before weight, but when they weighed him afterward they said he only ate .05 ml. I told the nurse that was impossible because with my experience I knew he got a good feeding and they must have weighed him wrong. I was super discouraged, but trudged on with that one "bad" feeding against us. Needless to say, he passed with flying colors and when that 24 hour period the main nurse actually expressed her surprise at how well he did. Judles finished his round of antibiotics (8 day stay for him) and Linc passed his eating test (14 day stay for him), so April 8th I got to take BOTH babies home AND my husband arrived home from another training trip! Happy day!:o)
My hubby had gone out of state for job training the same morning I was sent to the hospital (great timing eh?), I was so worried I would have the babies without him there. Thankfully he was able to come home early and was indeed there for our big event and I am so glad because he was my lifeline in that delivery room. He kept me so calm through all the trauma. Anyway, while on bedrest I had several nurses come in and ask if I had had my Strep B test yet, to which I kept responding, "Um, no I don't think so..." Well Saturday after the bottom number to my blood pressure had reached 100 for the second time they decided it was time to induce. I was told that with twins they would do ultrasounds all the way up to and even in the delivery room and that you deliver in the operating room so that if they need to do an emergency c-section you could be all prepped and ready for it super fast like. Well the doctor broke my water and then realized I wasn't tested for Strep B yet (they had 5 days to do that!) so they got me medication flowing through my IV to protect against that "just in case" and when my favorite doctor came in and realized they had already broken my water he seemed frustrated and wanted me to get the epidural as soon as possible (in case my labor progressed quickly since I was already at a 4). I became anxious about the epidural since I knew I didn't want to have twins without it. Oh and I had to have magnesium in my I.V. due to my blood pressure too - that was, well pretty uncomfortable. They told me it would burn some and wow, I was shocked at how much "burn" there was, OWE! Labor was as fun as it always is *sarcasm* and time came to head to the delivery/operating room, note - I hadn't had a single ultrasound the five days leading up to this point and still no sign of one while heading to delivery, also my epidural had a button you could push whenever you wanted to for the desired effect, the more you push it stronger it is (well to a certain point of course). I thought, "Oh I'd like to feel as much as possible, so I'm not going to push the button." I had so much feeling in my legs that I was able to lift them myself and crawl onto the operating table. Baby A came out so quickly and so easily that I became VERY optimistic about the whole situation. That is until Doctor N. (she wanted my regular OB doctor, Doctor H., to be at the delivery just in case we needed him because he was more experienced) turned to Doctor H. and thought Baby B. was likely breached (which with a simple ultrasound would have been obvious, but to my knowledge there wasn't a single ultrasound technician or machine in the room???). Doctor H. quickly took over and I was told not to push anymore. If your reading this and don't want too much information for your pure or inexperienced mind stop reading this now:o) Doctor H. reached inside me to grab for Baby B.'s feet so he could pull him out feet first, but those little feet were slippery and HARD to get. Jared said he had his entire forearm (up to his elbow) inside of me as he grabbed for the baby's feet and slipped off his hold. Over and over again he would reach in, grab the feet, and slide off, reach in, grab feet, slip off, reach in grab feet, slip off. Let me tell you people, I was really wishing that I had pushed that button for my epidural at this point because it was so painful I could hardly stand it. The suctioning sound from him slipping each time is so distinct in my memory, such an awful sound mixed with so much pain. An emergency c-section became necessary and I was quickly prepped for one, I remember thinking, "well this is it, a cesarean after all", but... where was the anesthesiologist??? Doctor H. turned to the nurses (like 15 of them) and asked where the anesthesiologist was and nobody knew. Everyone in the room became uncomfortable, quiet, and antsy as Doctor H. assumed the task at hand. I am SO thankful my hubby was able to make it back for this delivery! He kept my focus away from all the unfortunate things going on and just had me looking in his eyes, forehead against mine, praying for me the baby, and the whole situation. He stayed calm, but I could see concern all over his face. Three nurses vigorously pushed on my stomach for what seemed like hours but was really a ten minute period. SO painful! About 2 minutes before Baby B. was born (more like pulled out) the anesthesiologist arrived and Doctor H. very frustrated and with a commanding voice, said, "GET HER SOMETHING TO MAKE HER COMFORTABLE!" A little late at that point! The baby was not only breached, but he had his arm wrapped across his chest and around his neck (I was told that was THE WORST position a baby could be in). So once the baby's feet were out it was a whole new battle getting the rest of the baby out. My hubby said the doctor would rotate the baby and pull, rotate, pull, over and over again causing all the poop inside the baby to be squished out of his little body. My husband said he wouldn't even want to watch an animal give birth that way. Finally Baby B. was born, I looked down at him and saw a pale, limp body, no tears, nothing. Both my hubby and I thought he was dead. I knew panicking wouldn't help anything so we just prayed while they wheeled our little baby off to the NICU. Anyone who's had a baby knows that usually the placenta is the easy part to deliver, but it probably took another 10 minutes of more painful reaching and grabbing before that finally came out too. My body had experienced SUCH trauma that I shook, so badly in fact that I couldn't even hold Baby A. I shook uncontrollably for probably the next 8 hours or so:o( Not fun! I didn't get to meet my NICU baby till way later that evening, they wheeled me up in my bed:o)
Baby B had underdeveloped lungs and major bruising! Black feet and bruising that continued up his legs to his bottom. His face and forehead were bruised and swollen too:o( He just laid in his bed moaning from pain and stress. Lights, voices, touch, it just caused him more stress. It was so sad to see a 5lb 13oz baby whimper in pain:o( It melted my heart and made me so sad for him.
Judles (Baby A) got to come home, smaller than his little brother, but a breeze of a delivery AND developed lungs. He was kind of yellow so we were supposed to take him back to the doctors after a couple of days, so we did and well... he was jaundice and also needed admitted because his numbers were too low. So, much to my dismay we took him in too so they put him under the Billi Rubin lights and also started treating him for an infection (which was all hogwash to me, seriously). Lincoln showed great progress during his stay, but they had major expectations for his eating. Having experience of raising and feeding 3 babies prior to this I KNEW he was eating fine and getting a sufficient amount. We inquired about taking the feeding tube out of his nose and taking him home since that was the only thing keeping him there and the doctors acted as if we were first time parents who had no idea what we were talking about. They gave us an ultimatum that they would take the feeding tube out of his nose and if he ate 30 ml or more for each feeding (every 2-3 hours) during a 24 hour time period we could take him home. If he didn't meet these standards he would stay. Fine with us since if he wasn't eating well (which I had no doubts he was) we wanted him to get the proper help. I decided I would stay and monitor the situation and decided I would nurse him since he always seemed to eat more that way. Every feeding they put him on the scale to weigh him before and after he ate. He did AMAZING! There was one feeding where he ate through a let down (and nursing mothers KNOW what a let down is and if your baby is keeping up) and I missed his before weight, but when they weighed him afterward they said he only ate .05 ml. I told the nurse that was impossible because with my experience I knew he got a good feeding and they must have weighed him wrong. I was super discouraged, but trudged on with that one "bad" feeding against us. Needless to say, he passed with flying colors and when that 24 hour period the main nurse actually expressed her surprise at how well he did. Judles finished his round of antibiotics (8 day stay for him) and Linc passed his eating test (14 day stay for him), so April 8th I got to take BOTH babies home AND my husband arrived home from another training trip! Happy day!:o)
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